Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think your dad took our porno
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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