We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
