weddingsv make me drug and hornr
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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