More tranny stories later!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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