...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I have fence marks all over my body
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
