Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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