Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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