I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
no you cant smoke seaweed
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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