i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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