Non-Jews are for practice
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
