I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
