whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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