i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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