Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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