just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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