you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
