See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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