Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
