HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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