READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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