look no pants
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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