WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I currently don't understand fingers.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
