is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
