3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
