Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
