the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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