I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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