After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
