i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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