I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
