I heard we made out
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
