i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
