that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
