Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
