It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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