I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
