Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
