i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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