is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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