if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
