My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
