One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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