please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize