"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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