Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
