shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
