Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Randomize
