I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
