We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
