I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
