I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
